Attuning to my energy levels 觀察自身體力的多寡

Did I take energy from the future and use it again? 我又向未來的自己借體力來用了嗎？

Hello! This week we are talking about energy levels because I got sick. And when I get sick, I ask myself (in a non-judgemental, blame-y way, or so I try): Did you take energy from the future and use it again?

The reason stems from this being the fourth time I am sick this year, with the first three times I was sick while I was “digital nomad-ing” — with the flexibility of my previous job, I combined work travel, personal travel, and somehow was on the road non-stop for about 10 months. And I got the hint that my body did not LOVE it as much as my brain and heart did when I got sick in May when I was in Tokyo, which was after I got COVID in March when I was in Bangkok, which was after I got sick in January when I was in Essaouira, Morocco.

So — attuning to my energy levels. From as much self-awareness as I have — I’m typically a 100% or 0% kinda gal, meaning I will either be running way too fast, doing way too many things at once, or using up too much energy without showing it. Or, I’ll be doing absolutely nothing, because I ran out of energy. It’s as if my mind and my body were completely disconnected, unaware that energy is something that is not constant, and that perhaps you can’t make plans purely based on how many hours there are in a day. I clearly remember last week one day, I did yoga, met my grandma for dim sum, met some friends for a buildspace coworking session, met a lovely TCM doctor to discuss potential business opportunities, and met another friend for dinner and light swimming. Yes — hindsight is 20/20. Now I can obviously see: perhaps I did a little too much in one day. But did I feel it at the moment? No! I felt the rush of running around a city, and the excitement that, wow! My body can handle this!

I was wrong. My body was barely handling it! I was just too excited to see the hints. Yes, me, a girl writing a blog on slow living, accidentally lived too fast last week. And I got sick. Perhaps there’s nothing to do with my sickness and fast living, but it never hurts to rest a little more and go a little slower. Listen to your body. Your body is not a machine, yet even machines need to be oiled up sometimes.

I recall early on in my sabbatical, I wasn’t doing much other than doing yoga every day. I planned the type of yoga based on my energy — Hatha or Yin Yoga for slower mornings, Ashtanga or Vinyasa for well-rested ones. And if I know I don’t have energy, I cancel yoga that day. But the moment I got used to doing yoga every day, I forgot to check in on my energy levels :) Don’t be like me, don’t forget to check in on your energy levels.

Physical energy levels are still a vague concept to me, maybe because I’ve only done exercises on and off growing up. My dear readers, are you aware of your energy levels? How do you listen to your body? Please share with me in the comments below!

And for now, as a reminder to self — here are some questions I came up with to ask myself weekly:

• Do I have enough energy to do the things I want to do? If not, do I need to rest more, or do less?

• What are signs that I might be taking energy from the future?

• When do I time box for rest this week?

• What are non-negotiable self-care routines that I will not sacrifice?

And with this, I hope you have a lovely weekend and perhaps a well-rested one ;)

Little quiet moments I had last week BEFORE i got sick

你好～這週我想跟你們探討「體力」，因為我碰巧感冒了，而近期我感冒時我就會溫柔地問下自己：你又向未來的自己借體力來用了嗎？

我會開始問自己這個問題是因為這已經是我今年第四次生病了，前三次是在我「數位遊牧」的時候生病的。由於之前的工作彈性，時而因工作旅遊、時而自己旅遊，不知不覺地就一連十個月沒有在一個地方待超過一個月。我身體跟我明示、暗示了好幾次：它沒有像我的腦袋一樣愛旅遊。在我一月在摩洛哥工作時感冒被提醒了一次、三月在曼谷參加完朋友的婚禮得新冠肺炎又被提醒了一次、五月在東京旅遊時小感冒再被提醒一次，我才終於聽見，身體好像真的頂不住接連不斷地旅遊。

關於體力嘛，以我微薄的自我覺察力，我是一個不是用一百分力、就是用零分力在活著的一個女孩：不是一下做太多事情、跑太多地方、耗掉太多體力，就是什麼都不做（畢竟體力用完了啊）。彷彿是我的大腦跟我的身體完全沒有溝通般，大腦想做一百件事情，身體只有做幾件事情的能力；或大腦覺得每天可以做的事情大概只跟一天有幾個小時有關，只要有睡覺就會有體力了吧！我清楚地記得上禮拜有天我出門做瑜伽、和外婆一起飲茶、和幾位好友一起在咖啡廳工作、見了一位美美中醫師討論可能合作的計畫、再跟一位好友吃晚餐跟游泳。是的，我現在事後也知道我那天做的事情可能多了一點點，但我當下是完全沒有感覺的。我好喜歡在城市街頭跑來跑去，好喜歡這麼有體力的在一天之中做這麼多事情！

噢不，我錯了！我身體哪有那麼好，又不小心跟未來的自己借用體力了啦！我興奮之餘才沒空好好檢視自己的體力呢～也是蠻慚愧的，我在敘寫《城市女孩・慢生活》的同時，過了一個好快、好忙的一天，然後也感冒了。雖然感冒和「快生活」應該沒有直接的關係，但多休息、過慢一點的生活總是不會錯的。記得要聆聽自己的身體啊！你的身體又不是機器，更何況連機器也是偶爾需要修復、上油的啊！

我想起剛開始留職停薪時，我有一陣子除了天天做瑜伽之外沒什麼其他的事情，每天的計畫都是照著自己有多少體力來決定的，體力差一點的時候可能做陰瑜珈或哈達瑜珈，體力好一點就做阿斯坦加瑜伽或流動瑜伽，體力再差一點的話那天就不做瑜伽了。當我一旦習慣了幾乎每天都做瑜伽，我好像就完全忘記要關心一下自己體力有多少了，除了瑜伽之外又變出一堆行程。哎，不要像我一樣忘了關心自己的體力啊！

話說到此，我還是對於體力這個概念矇矇懂懂的，也許因為從小到大運動都只是斷斷續續地在做吧。親愛的讀者們，你是如何去觀察自己的體力呢？請跟我在留言區分享吧！

在結語之前，來列下幾個我決定每週要定期問自己的問題：

• 我有足夠力氣去完成我所有想做的事情嗎？如果沒有的話，我是應該要多休息、還是要減少想做的事呢？

• 當我又快要開始向未來的自己借用體力時，有什麼徵兆可以參考的嗎？

• 我這週有排開時間來休息嗎？

• 我這週寵愛自己、照顧自己了嗎？

期許你看完這篇文章之後有個不僅愉快、更充滿適度休息的週末！

有時後繁忙的香港也會時間定格，夕陽也好、晨間的小路、剛開的蓮花、或是泡的一杯茶（都是這兩週的照片）